Why Confidence Is Everything When Women Face Financial Change
With a modest upbringing in the early 1930s and raised by parents with traditional views, my father was an unlikely promoter of female financial confidence.
His mother had never worked outside the home or learned to drive, which was unusual even then in our Midwest community. When my grandfather died suddenly while my father was still a teenager, my grandmother was ill-equipped to manage the family finances. It wasn’t just her lack of experience that made things hard. Deep down, she believed she wasn’t capable of handling money matters, even though she was smart and tenacious. She had plenty of determination, but what she really lacked was confidence.
So my father made it his mission to ensure that was one family legacy that stopped with his own daughter, me.
But let’s be real: dealing with money isn’t always easy and when life throws you a big curveball—like retirement, divorce, or the loss of a partner—it can feel downright overwhelming.
Here’s the truth: confidence is one of the most important tools you can have in your financial life. Not just knowledge. Not just spreadsheets. Confidence. The quiet belief that you can take control, ask questions, make decisions, and move forward. Especially when everything else feels uncertain.
Let’s talk about why confidence matters so much during major transitions and how you can build it—even if you don’t feel ready.
You’re Not Alone: Many Women Feel Unsure About Money
You’re smart and you’ve handled a lot. But when it comes to money, especially long-term planning or big decisions, confidence doesn’t always come naturally.
According to a Bank of America study, 94% of women believe they’ll be personally responsible for their finances at some point, but only 48% feel confident in managing them. And fewer than 30% feel empowered to take action.
That gap between knowing you should be involved and actually feeling ready? That’s where confidence lives.
In fact, a Merrill Lynch study found that only 41% of women say they feel confident managing investments. And a McKinsey report highlights that women are far less likely to receive tailored financial advice, which only compounds the uncertainty.
Confidence During Life Changes: Why It Matters So Much
Let’s look at a few common turning points—and how confidence makes all the difference.
Retirement: From Paychecks to Planning
Retirement is a huge milestone—but it’s not just about stopping work. It’s about shifting your mindset. Suddenly, you're not saving for retirement anymore; you’re living in it.
Questions pop up fast: Am I withdrawing too much from my savings? Will my money last? Should I change how I invest?
Many women worry about making mistakes or running out of money. That fear can lead to inaction or excessive caution with investments, which can cause problems over time.
Take Stacy, for example. After retiring from a 30-year career in sales, she found herself unsure how to prioritize her qualified retirement account, taxable investments and Social Security income to fund her lifestyle expenses in retirement. Her lack of confidence caused her to delay finding an advisor for over a year—time she now wishes she'd used to make clearer and more informed decisions.
Confidence helps you trust your plan and ask the right questions. It lets you partner with an advisor without feeling like you need a finance degree. It helps you stay calm when the market dips. Most importantly, it gives you peace of mind to enjoy this next chapter.
Divorce: When You’re Suddenly Going It Alone
Divorce is a financial earthquake. I’ve been there myself, and while I was fortunate to have an incredibly kind and rational former spouse, I know that even when it’s amicable, divorce upends everything—your income, your expenses, your future plans. Add in emotional upheaval and tension and it’s easy to see why the divorce process can be an overwhelming roller coaster.
When it comes to finances in divorce, many women say the hardest part isn’t budgeting—it’s decision fatigue and feeling unprepared. Even the financially savvy find themselves wondering: Can I afford to keep the house? What happens to our retirement accounts? Will I be okay in five or ten years?
If your ex handled the finances, stepping into that role can feel like being dropped into a foreign country without a map.
Consider Linda, a client I worked with. She had always seen herself as "bad with money," despite successfully running a household for two decades. During her divorce, we worked together to map out what she actually had and what she needed. The moment Linda said, "I can do this," was a turning point—not just in her finances, but in how she saw herself. She learned she had the skills and knowledge all along, but just needed to have it validated.
Confidence doesn’t mean you need all the answers today. It means believing you can figure it out, one step at a time. It gives you the strength to negotiate clearly, advocate for yourself, and ask professionals what you don’t yet understand.
Widowhood: Navigating Grief and Finances at the Same Time
As an estate planning attorney, I’ve witnessed the difficulty of the early days of widowhood when the emotional weight is heavy enough, only to be enhanced by the added pressure of paperwork, decisions, and new responsibilities.
Studies show that many widows were not involved in managing household finances—and are thrust into the role without warning. But often I find that even the many women who are active in—and even lead—family budgeting and bill pay are less involved and feel less confident in the more strategic decisions around investing and long-term financial wellbeing.
Confidence here means giving yourself permission to move at your own pace, while slowly gaining clarity. It means asking advisors to explain things without jargon. It means saying, "I don’t know yet—but I’m learning."
It also means recognizing that widowhood may require other changes to best serve your evolving needs. Although the percentage of women who change advisors post-bereavement is unclear – a widely-cited 2011 Spectrem Group study reports as high as 70% while a more recent 2024 study by Cerulli Associates found that less than 20% changed - what is more clear are the reports that many women who change advisors experience poor service or lack of personal connection and feeling patronized.
I think of Amy, who lost her beloved husband of 40+ years. She'd diligently handled the household bills and tracked investment account activity but had never been brought into discussions and decisions surrounding the intention and expectation for the investment portfolio. After her husband died, her investment advisor took her out to lunch regularly but never addressed these issues and Amy continued to feel lost and unsure. He was also unable to offer advice around fundamental tax and estate planning questions related to her financial planning. In the months that followed, it became clear she needed an advisor who better fit her changing needs and I was delighted when another client connected her to me.
So… How Do You Build Financial Confidence?
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build, just like strength or endurance.
For me, I believe much of my financial confidence stems from my father’s support and belief in my ability to make my own financial decisions, even at a young age. After a high school summer spent relentlessly working double shifts at a local ice cream stand, I finally saved enough to buy a used car. When I excitedly asked my father to join me on my car shopping expedition, he was clear on one point: he’d be happy to browse, but he wasn’t going to speak. All negotiations were up to me. Like any other skill, doing it—even when you don’t feel fully ready—is key to building the confidence to step outside your comfort zone.
Is it too late if you didn’t have an avid proponent of your financial empowerment since the third grade? Of course not! But where to start?
Learn the Basics (Without Judgment) – Start with what matters to you. Whether it’s budgeting, understanding your retirement account, or learning how investments work, just focus on one topic at a time. Confidence grows with clarity.
Find Your Financial People – Talk about money with people you trust—friends, a sister, a financial advisor, or even an online community. You’re not the only one figuring it out, and hearing others’ experiences helps normalize the process.
Ask Questions—Lots of Them – Seriously, there’s no such thing as a dumb question when it comes to your money. If something doesn’t make sense, say so. You’re not here to impress anyone. You’re here to take care of your future.
Take One Action, Then Another – Open that statement. Make that appointment. Adjust that budget. Confidence grows every time you take a small, brave step—even if it’s uncomfortable.
Use Tools That Support You – Download budgeting apps, use checklists, or keep a financial journal. Practical tools make progress visible and help reinforce confidence.
Remember—This Is Your Life – No one else has your exact financial situation, goals, or needs. So it’s okay to take advice, but ultimately, you’re the one in charge. That’s empowering.
What Confidence Feels Like (And Why It Matters)
When you build financial confidence, life changes don’t feel like derailments. They become pivot points—moments where you step up, not step back.
Confidence looks like: Calling your advisor with questions you never dared ask before. Saying no to pressure you don’t agree with. Making a plan and actually feeling good about it. Sleeping better at night because you know what’s going on with your money.
Remember my car? I confidently bought a sporty little red Nissan Pulsar. Although originally priced over my limited budget, after some keen negotiating—which included leaving the dealership and providing my phone number in case they changed their mind—I was able to make it mine. I loved that car and still wonder if it was the pop-up headlights, t-top, or the fact that I bought it all on my own that still makes me think about it wistfully.
Final Thought: What You Can Do This Week
If you’re in the middle of a life transition, you don’t need to have everything figured out. What you do need is belief in your ability to move forward and the willingness to take small steps in that direction.
Try one of these actions this week:
Review your most recent bank or investment statement.
Schedule 15 minutes to research one financial topic that confuses you.
Write down a list of questions you have about your financial future.
Talk to one trusted person about money.
These small steps build momentum. They help you shift from feeling stuck to feeling capable.
Confidence isn’t loud. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s that quiet, grounded feeling that says: “I can do this. I might need help. I might be learning. But I’ve got this.”
And you do.
Susan Jones is an investment adviser representative with Savvy Advisors, Inc. (“Savvy Advisors”). Savvy Advisors is an SEC registered investment advisor. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the speakers and authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Savvy Advisors. Information contained herein has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but are not assured as to accuracy. Sorelle Wealth Partners is a business name used for marketing purposes. All advisory services are offered through Savvy Advisors. Sorelle Wealth Partners and Savvy are not under common ownership or control.